


Take Me Back to the Start

by everysundoesntrise



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, POV Second Person, Unrequited Love (at first)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 11:48:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2546438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everysundoesntrise/pseuds/everysundoesntrise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're four years old when your best friend falls in love with you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take Me Back to the Start

**Author's Note:**

> Archive Warnings are at the bottom and contain a spoiler.

You’re four when you first see him. He smiles at you, announcing that he’s, “going to be your best friend.” And it sounds nice, because you’ve never had a friend before. His eyes are wide and hopeful; you smile.

It’s simple and easy.

When you're eight (after you’ve come to know the boy, Stiles, like the back of your hand), you see him crying. You grab his hand, upset (the only other time you’ve see Stiles sad was when Jackson ripped his comic book in half). He looks at you, pained, and forces a smile, “I'm fine,” he whispers. You call him out. It’s simple and easy and it becomes a pattern.

Later that year, March 28th to be specific, your mom tells you that Stiles no longer has a mother and you're confused because Stiles’ mom wasn’t like your dad. She wouldn't just leave. Your mom frowns and pushes you to Stiles’ door. The sheriff is passed out on the table and you stare at an unfamiliar drink in his hand and remind yourself to ask Stiles what it is.

You hear Stiles before you see him. He’s sobbing (and you're not even sure that’s the right word for it, because it’s so much louder and more painful than a sob). His skin is pale and he’s curled up in a ball on the ground and his breaths are uneven. It scares you, so you call out his name. His body goes still at your voice and he looks up at you and tries to smile but it comes out as a cry. You pat his head and tell him you love him. He blushes and cries even more.

One day when you're ten, (by which Stiles has claimed he is fully healed and you try to call him out but for some reason it’s not simple and easy anymore), you see broken glass and smell blood. He tells you the date, March 28th. You nod and tell him he’s your best friend.

You're fourteen when you realize you can't imagine a life without Stiles. Mr. Harris, your chemistry teacher, continuously tries to split the two of you up. Concerned, you ask Stiles if he thinks you and him will ever stop being friends. He falters, before describing the endless possibilities of your guys' friendship. He tells you that he cares about you too much to lose you. When you tell him you feel the same, he looks at you, pensive, before making a sarcastic remark.

You're sixteen when you’re bit by a werewolf and are suddenly forced to be one yourself. The first thing you notice is Stiles’ scent. It’s metallic like copper and iron and you can’t remember where you've smelled it before, so you ask Stiles. He laughs it off, tells you it’s nothing. The next day he smells more like disinfectant and you don't call him out.

Allison enters your life shortly after the werewolf bite does and you feel something for her that you’ve never felt with Stiles. You don't know how she works, but you're learning. It’s simple and easy in the way that Stiles used to be. It’s only a couple months into the relationship when you begin to wonder when the last time you saw Stiles was. You text him and receive one word responses in return. You ask him if he’s okay and he replies with a familiar mantra of words (“I’m fine,”) and you can’t hear his heartbeat to confirm or deny that.

He’s surprised when you show up to his house on March 28th that year and asks why you aren't with Allison. You wonder how your friendship had gotten so damaged that Stiles would even think that. You wonder if the endless possibilities of your friendship aren't so endless anymore. You sit on his bed as he cries into your shoulder and you tell him you love him – not even Allison will change that.

When you're seventeen, you and Allison have broken up and your best friend kisses you. He looks at you like his entire existence depends on yours, in a way that Allison never has and it scares you (and you don't know what to do, because it used to be that when you were scared, you'd call out for Stiles). In the end, you pull away from him and his eyes flash hurt before they turn blank. “I'm fine,” he murmurs. And you're too lost to call him out. He starts avoiding you and you run back to Allison.

It’s only when you're eighteen that things go back to normal between the two of you. Mr. Harris sits you and Stiles next to each other. Stiles doesn't look at you with the same expression as he did the year before, and you smile. He invites you over for the first time in a year and you ignore the fact that the sheriff looks shocked and unhappy to see you. Stiles puts the latest superhero movie on and you laugh that Mr. Harris, who spent all of freshmen year trying to separate the two of you, is the reason you're friends again. Stiles thinks its funny too.

You're still eighteen when Stiles’ eyes, for the first time, land on someone that’s not you. It’s unsettling, at first. He jokes that you're jealous and you laugh, push him and tell him that you (only) love him like a best friend.

Four or five months later, you’re sitting on his bed and he’s giving you the same look he gave you when you both were seventeen, but for some reason, you're not scared of it anymore. (Later, when you have the time to look at in perspective, you realize its because you’re looking at him the exact same way). This time when he kisses you, you kiss back.

It’s simple and easy again in every way you hoped it would be.

You're nineteen when you find his body and a note.

_It’s never going to be simple and easy with me. It never has been, not since my mom died- not since I was born. I can't give you that. I’ll never be able to give you that and I can’t do this anymore. All those times you told me you loved me, I never could say that I do too. I know it’s selfish, but this is my way of saying that. You lived a year without me before, a lifetime shouldn't be too bad. Be happy. - S_

And you realize that Stiles hadn’t gotten better, he had just gotten better at fooling you, or, maybe, you had just gotten worse at noticing.

**Author's Note:**

> Major Character Death


End file.
